Sen. Mike Lee Will Do the Honors

It used to be that after the President’s State of the Union address, the opposing party would offer a response.

But since 2011, the GOP has offered two responses to President Obama, the official Republican response and a Tea Party response.  Because, you know, when you’ve got a Kenyan Muslim Socialist in the WH, one rebuttal can’t possibly be enough to deal with the horror.

This year, Sen. Mike Lee of Utah will do the Tea Party honors on January 28, following in the hallowed footsteps of Michelle Bachmann, Herman Cain, and Rand Paul.

The GOP hasn’t yet announced who gets their official gig.  But whoever it is will not eat anything salty or spicy for 24 hours beforehand, having learned the lesson of Marco Rubio’s “Big Gulp” from last year.

So look forward to Crazy and Crazier, Dumb and Dumber.

Santorum Continues to Stick Neck Out on Guillotine

When Rick Savonarola Santorum started talking about how birth control coverage in Obamacare would lead to the French Revolution and the guillotine here, some excused it as Rick getting a little carried away and going off-script.

People, this is the script.  Speaking at a campaign dinner in Michigan tonight, Santorum said, “Once we throw God out of the equation…we ultimately end up at the guillotine.  What makes America great is faith.”

And we were so relieved that the crazy people — Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain — were out of the race.  Silly us.

Did Reince Preibus Confuse Obama with Cain?

Reince Preibus, head of the Republican National Committee, bizarrely said that Obama’s State of the Union reminded him of Saturday Night Live.  He must have meant Herman Cain’s Tea Party response, that was much more SNL.  Maybe he got them confused because, you know, they’re both black.

Reince Preibus himself reminds me of an SNL parody of an RNC chair.

The Republican primary debates remind me of Monty Python‘s Flying Circus.


President Obama is delivering his State of the Union address on Tuesday.  Mitch Daniels will give the Republican response.

And then, Herman Cain will give the Tea Party response.  Because, you know, having Michele Bachmann give a response separate from Paul Ryan’s official Republican response last year worked out so well.

But maybe I should change my headline to YEEEEEEEEEEES!  After all, I don’t have to watch Cain, and I won’t.  And the Republican establishment cant be happy about this.  That lying idiot Cain will only help Obama.

I do know that all the original participants in the Boston Tea Party are rolling in their graves.

Why Would Cain Suspend, Rather Than End, His Campaign?

Because if he just “suspends” the campaign, he can continue to raise money.  And, yes, there are people that dumb in this country.

He has promised to endorse another candidate, meaning some poor soul is going to bear the “mark of Cain.”

The GOP today closed one of the rings in its circus, but it has many more to go before it looks like a serious political party and not a really crappy reality show.

I Was Waiting for This!

Michele Bachmann said that she would respond to the attack on the British Embassy in Tehran by closing our embassy there!  Except of course we haven’t had an embassy in Iran since the hostage crisis in 1979, when we broke diplomatic relations with them.  So good idea, Michele, just more than 30 years late.

I knew one of the dumb bunnies in the race (or perhaps Sarah Palin) would say this, but I thought it would be Herman Cain.  I figured if he didn’t know China has had nuclear weapons since 1964, he wouldn’t know about our lack of diplomatic relations with Iran.

My second choice was Bachmann, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she’s on the House Intelligence Committee.  Never give that woman the benefit of the doubt.

Michele, the only reason they attacked the British Embassy is because there isn’t an American one.  Duh!