The Duck Dynasty Robertson clan is partnering with Mossberg, a gun manufacturer, to promote a line of guns, including nice shotguns, two rifles, and a semi-automatic pistol.
Says vagina-loving, anus-hating Phil Robertson on the web site, “You know what makes me happy, ladies and gentleman? To blow a mallard drake’s head smooth off.”
Um, why do you need a semi-automatic to go duck hunting? And now I’m stuck with a mental image of severed duck heads flying through the air, dripping blood.
Embattled Farmers 
I’m going to say something very unprogressive and not politically correct. Ready?
Anyone who watches “Duck Dynasty” should be enclosed in a locked trailer with the cast, t cases of bad beer, and a big old gun.
Gag me.