You Can’t Outrun the Bear If You Can’t Outrun the Baier

President Obama’s re-election chances are being judged by his low approval ratings.  In the old joke, Bob and Jim are hiking, when a bear begins chasing them.  Bob tells Jim that they can’t outrun the bear.  Jim tells Bob that he doesn’t have to outrun the bear, he just has to outrun Bob.

Right now, Obama’s approval ratings are the bear, and it’s chasing only him.

But once the Republicans have a nominee, Obama doesn’t have to outrun the bear, he just has to outrun his opponent.

Based on Mitt Romney’s performance on the stump so far, I don’t think Obama will have a hard time outrunning him.

Mitt had a terrible interview with Bret Baier of Fox News yesterday.  Mitt was testy and combative, impatient and nasty, with the mild-mannered Baier, who offered him a chance to explain his flip-flops without embarrassing Mitt by playing any of the offending sound bites.  Mitt chewed his head off and, rather than use the friendly forum to explain how and why his views had changed, he flat out denied that he had changed policy except for abortion.

Maybe Baier didn’t play the relevant clips, but they exist, and they will be played over and over again.  President Obama has had more successful interviews with Fox.

The interview was bizarre.  They were sitting in a warehouse surrounded by flats of juice.  It was as if they were kidnap victims waiting for their ransom to be paid.  It was like a scene from a Quentin Tarantino movie.

If Mitt can’t handle Fox, how is he going to do on networks that aren’t the propaganda arm of the GOP?  He can’t refuse to do interviews and avoid the Sunday talk shows in the general.  The Rose Garden strategy only works if you happen to live in the White House.

Mitt, if you can’t handle the Baier, the bear will eat you alive.

I Was Waiting for This!

Michele Bachmann said that she would respond to the attack on the British Embassy in Tehran by closing our embassy there!  Except of course we haven’t had an embassy in Iran since the hostage crisis in 1979, when we broke diplomatic relations with them.  So good idea, Michele, just more than 30 years late.

I knew one of the dumb bunnies in the race (or perhaps Sarah Palin) would say this, but I thought it would be Herman Cain.  I figured if he didn’t know China has had nuclear weapons since 1964, he wouldn’t know about our lack of diplomatic relations with Iran.

My second choice was Bachmann, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she’s on the House Intelligence Committee.  Never give that woman the benefit of the doubt.

Michele, the only reason they attacked the British Embassy is because there isn’t an American one.  Duh!

No Free Rolls If You Drive a Rolls

The Republicans are being difficult (what else is new?) about extending the payroll tax cut set to expire at the end of this year.

They want to pay for it by preventing those who earn $1 million or more a year from receiving unemployment benefits or food stamps.

It’s about time.  I’m sick and tired of watching people buy groceries with food stamps and then drive off in their Aston Martins and Ferraris.

Guaranteed to Put a Smile on Your Face

Check out mittvmitt.com.  Mitt flips, he flops, he flips again.  He makes jellyfish look as if they have a spine.  He makes Olympic gymnasts look inflexible.

You just want to grab hold of him and shake him, except that he’s so damn slippery, you can’t.

He’s a pathetic buffoon, enabling the rise of Newtie the preening blowhard.

The Dems are squeezing Mitt from the left, as Newt squeezes him from the right, because they’d love to run against Newt the Obnoxious and Undisciplined.

This is what you’ve got, GOP — this 68-year-old guy who resigned in disgrace as Speaker of the House 13 years ago and has been riding the lobbyist gravy train ever since?  Great farm system, people.

Adieu, Herman Cain

As White Sox broadcaster Ken Harrelson would say, “He gone.”

Cain was sinking fast in the polls anyway, and this latest allegation of sexual impropriety should finish him off.

Cain is the weirdest, least plausible presidential candidate I’ve ever seen get traction, even briefly, in either party.

We Need a Republican Debate on New Year’s Eve

Only two Republican debates till Christmas!  The next one is Saturday, 12/10 on ABC at 6 EST.  Then Thursday, 12/15 on Fox at 6 EST.  The CNN debate scheduled for 12/1 has been changed to 2/22.

They should have one on New Year’s Eve with funny hats and noisemakers and alcohol.  Imagine the stuff Ron Paul and Michele Bachmann would say after a few drinks.  Imagine the stuff Herman Cain would do, especially if any of the Fox blondes was moderating.  Imagine the stuff Rick Perry would forget.  Imagine the nasty, condescending comments Newt would make about the questions he was asked.  Imagine Rick Santorum and Jon Huntsman yelling “Barkeep” from opposite ends of the stage, tired of waiting to have their empty glasses filled.

Mitt, on the other hand, would do better if someone spiked his Shirley Temple.

But I guess we have enough incentive to get drunk as we happily show 2011 the door without having to look at this pathetic excuse for a GOP field.

2012 Is About 1943 and 1966

Polls asking if voters disapprove of President Obama, or if they think the country is on the wrong track, are very different from the question voters will answer on November 6, 2012.  Then the much narrower question will be if voters prefer a specific individual, say Newt Gingrich, to President Obama.

As white suburban women go, so goes the nation.  Newt Gingich was born in 1943.  His third wife Callista was born in 1966, so she is 23 years younger.  A lot of white suburban women aren’t going to feel warm and fuzzy toward a man who dumped two sick wives and ended up with someone more than two decades younger, who was his mistress before she became Mrs. Newtie #3.

Likeability matters (just ask poor unloved Mitt).  Newt and Callista are two extremely unlikeable people.

 

Blue Tiffany’s Boxes All Around

I’ve heard that when they come to work tomorrow, everyone at the New Hampshire Union Leader will find a blue Tiffany’s box on his or her desk.  An early Christmas!

Because one thing you have to admit about the One Percent, like Newtie and Callista, is that they know how and where to shop.

A Good Day for Seamus Romney

Among those celebrating the Union Leader‘s endorsement of Newt Gingrich and not Mitt Romney must be Seamus Romney, savoring the news like a juicy steak as he frolics in dog heaven.   Seamus, as Gail Collins perpetually reminds us in her NYT column, is the Irish setter whom Mitt strapped to the roof of his car for a long drive to Canada.

Mitt’s reward for this idiocy and cruelty was a stream of dog poop cascading down his windshield.   Today the Union Leader pooped on Mitt’s parade.

Union Leader Sticks Knife in Mitt, Twists

The New Hampshire Union Leader didn’t just endorse Newt Gingrich, they also took swipes at Mitt Romney in doing so, so kind of a two-fer.  They don’t name names, but clearly they are referring to Mitt and his lack of belief in anything other than getting himself to the Oval Office:

“We look for conservatives of courage and conviction who are independent-minded, grounded in their core beliefs about this nation and its people…”

“We would rather back someone with whom we may sometimes disagree than one who tells us what he thinks we want to hear.”

Ouch!